The islands in Ocean Country have been celebrating the arrival of the next Umikage, Saizo. The long bridge leading to SHIPPUUGAKURE NO SATO has been closed for outsiders because they wish to celebrate this moment with Ocean Country natives only.
As usual, the Storm Country has been hosting the Asgard Games to welcome their Kanetsukage, Cornelia. It's a double special occasion because Cornelia is also the first female Kanetsukage. She has been picked for her courage, loyalty and outstanding power by the BOUFUUGAKURE NO SATO elders.
Not only that, but the Cherry Blossom Country has become relieved as well. It seems that everyone is slowly picking up after the war now. KUSAMURAGAKURE NO SATO proudly presented their new Sakurakage, Altair.
TSUKIGAKURE NO SATO is still thriving on the merchants coming in and out. They have not experienced anything special lately. Their wealth has remained the same as they were not forced to invest into shinobi unlike the others.
On the cold isles of the Blizzard Country, HYOUGAGAKURE NO SATO has still refused to create a free traveling policy. Some habits never change. To protect their traditions, they have even warned outsiders to not interfere with their matters.
Now that everyone is picking up again, who will come out on top?
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Subject: Moku's Phail At Poetry Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:43 am
Quote :
Only when they leave your lips Can words overturn my heart Only when they leave your lips Can insults cut beneath the scar Only when they leave your lips Does a kiss drop me falling from afar Only when they leave your lips Can compliments sweep me off my feet Only when they leave your lips Does language brighten the darkest eclipse Only when they leave your lips Do the words "You're amazing" mean so much
I know the context on a few lines is a bit off, and I should remain consistent with my rhyme scheme (my first ever attempt besides school assignments, so Im experimenting), but besides that, any helpful criticism would be warmly appreciated.
Subject: Re: Moku's Phail At Poetry Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:36 am
Hmm...I see what you are trying to do with the use of repetition. However, have you thought of perhaps writing it in stanzas rather than as one long poem? This is purely a suggestion. I find that writing in stanzas gives one a better picture mentally in terms of what the poet is trying to convey. Perhaps try your hand at a stanza'd version of this and see how it turns out? :)
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Subject: Moku's Phail At Poetry 
